While I love to share my unpopular opinions, motivation to write this post didn’t come from a brewing hate for some artifact of popular culture. For once, I am here to applaud, with a critical lens of course, a song with which I’ve crossed paths on numerous occasions this week. Andy Grammer is your average, low-key pretty boy pop star who has somehow struck an important moral chord with his latest single, “Honey, I’m Good.” While Grammer’s song is a 2015 radio breakthrough considering it does not reference money, drugs, or cars, it does attempt to tackle sensitive topics in a very realistic light: sex and fidelity. I believe people have the right to do as they please when it comes to engaging in relationships, dating, marriage, or not, but I likewise believe once you do make a commitment to someone that is something to respect. There are days when I think marriage is nothing more than a legal and financial agreement, and others when I believe it is a sacred institution rooted in love and the gravest of commitments. If someone chooses to not date, not get married, not maintain any sense of exclusivity, power to them, that’s just not how I operate.
In reality, power, jealousy and other sentiments cause us to place a keen emphasis on loyalty. Fidelity is a big deal to me (See my R Kelly commentary if you care), and I believe that once a romantic (or any binding) commitment, promise, etc. is made to another person, you are to uphold that. Popular music genuinely offers us examples of the converse: “She save me in her phone as bestie, but I had her screaming ohh” (“Post to Be”, Omarion) and “I know you say you’re taken, but I say girl you’re taking too long to tell him that it’s over, then bring it on over” (“Break Up With Him”, Old Dominion). All top 100 examples as of July 2015. Shockingly, however, also atop this list of songs are “Cheerleader” by OMI and “Trap Queen” by Fetty Wap which express a, although somewhat unorthodox, sense of importance of fidelity. Bringing me to the point of discussion: Grammer’s “Honey, I’m Good” that currently resides at the #14 spot on the Billboard Top 100.
In short, Grammer’s song appears to be about a man’s night of bar hopping during which he consistently runs into a woman with “long, long legs” everywhere he goes. He’s drinking, said explicitly, and says that another drink might cause him to be unfaithful to the person he’s committed to. While it’s not incredibly heartfelt or profound, Grammer’s song is important: “Honey, I’m Good’ presents positive figures of masculinity in which realistic and appropriate actions and reactions indicate an understanding and respect of fidelity when a commitment has been made. It is so very important that fidelity is being brought to the forefront in popular music, territory that has recently been reserved for hypersexualization, infidelity, and heartbreak.
Likewise, male figures in popular culture serving as representatives of positive expressions of masculinity and conduct shape current views of violence, feminism, loyalty, and more. The one issue that I do have with the song, of course, is the portrait of the female seductress Grammer paints in the song, one who is actively pursuing him despite his loyalties. No need to name call here, but it seems like, from my experience, this game usually goes in the other direction. Not to say it doesn’t happen, I’ve never petitioned a guy at a bar to stay, drink more, and cheat. We’re so close to media that can address controversial issues without putting someone, an identity, or a differing lifestyle choice down in the process. Nonetheless, Grammer’s bluntness with her, while a little rude after he likely has played the flirt most of the night, is mature within the realm of drunkenness, and the song highlights real temptations that are present with or without alcohol consumption. While I’ve never lost sight of what I truly want because of alcohol, it does happen. The last factor supporting Grammer’s (and the song’s) sincerity? The music video for “Honey, I’m Good” features what appears to be real couples of various ages and in various stages of life and their respective relationships demonstrating how passionate and fun love and fidelity can be. Likewise, Grammer’s song is an overwhelmingly unique summer anthem bursting with positivity.
