In August 2012, I began my collegiate journey at the University of Kentucky. I was convinced that I “didn’t need” to join Greek life because, having grown up in Lexington, I knew so many people attending school with me. Over the next year and a half, I learned that I had been right: I didn’t need Greek life. I didn’t need little bags, too many t-shirts, pictures with hand symbols, or an entirely new group of friends. But still I wondered, thousands of students at my university alone are members of sororities and fraternities and are so proud to wear their letters. What was I missing? During this time, my boyfriend became a member of Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity and I watched him change and grow, while simultaneously adopting some of the “frat” traditions myself to keep up with him. For a very long time, I thought he felt ashamed of me for not being in a sorority and I can’t lie that when I chose to participate in spring recruitment my sophomore year, I did so because of him. I thought it would solve our problems and that I would finally be the person he wanted me to be.
Last week, my relationship of five years ended and I immediately thought of my initial motivator to join Kappa Delta sorority. I wanted to be bitter because I did it for him, but I couldn’t. In reality, I had gained something for myself that had no connection to my relationship whatsoever. In Kappa Delta, I can actually say that I have met some of the most genuine, strong, and supportive women. I still hate the fact that I have to pay for membership, but the people I have met and the bonds I’ve forged are beyond priceless. During my new member education, I learned the history of Kappa Delta and my chapter and I became enchanted by the idea of upholding tradition that four women began some 117 years ago to unite maturing girls on college campuses. In some ways, it is very conflicting that I am simultaneously a member of a sorority and a Gender and Women’s Studies major because Greek traditions often conflict with ideals and principles of feminism. On the contrary, I’ve found some of the most intelligent, strong-willed, and passionate women on my campus because of this beautiful organization. My Big, my sweet little pledge class, and countless other women in Epsilon Omega chapter have left a mark on my heart forever. Do I personally know each of the 230+ girls in our mega-chapter? Well, no. But those I do know have shown me a love and friendship I never expected to find.
If you’re in doubt about joining a sorority, I understand it’s not for everyone. I can say with certainty, however, that I would’ve been disappointed with myself at graduation had I not at least pursued my curiosity and explored Greek life for myself. Sororities differ from chapter to chapter without question, and joining Kappa Delta has put me in brief financial binds at times, but I’ve chosen to think of it as an investment in myself and in friendships. Kappa Delta has forced introspection in my life and my sorority sisters have rallied around me in some of my greatest times of need like my own personal cheerleaders. No one expects you to click with and adore every member of your chapter, but you will find those special women who you know instantly will be part of your life forever. A true sorority will not take over your life, will not discourage you from outside friendships and relationships, will not give you nothing in return unless you give nothing yourself. Kappa Delta has not only provided me with a unique space on my college campus, but with women I can call on day or night to support my hopes and dreams. Joining a sorority will likely include many hand-painted canvases, screen-printed t-shirts with pockets, and force you to acquire a costume box, but beyond the surface and tangible items that accompany Greek life, I hope you will find solace, strength, and continued support from your new family just as I have. AOT.
