I can’t thank everyone enough for the outpouring of love and support I’ve received over the TOPS in Lex June feature. The messages came in the form of comments, calls, texts, and hugs, but I was slightly unprepared for the level of criticism the spread received. Truthfully, I saw this coming. It comes as no surprise that TOPS hasn’t been universally known as the most inclusive publication in town, as Lexington’s satire site blatantly calls out. When I found out shortly before the shoot who was to participate (some of my closest blogger friends), I spent a lot of time contemplating my participation and even prayed over the decision – I’m not really the praying type. I understood the implications, but I believed that the spread would direct readers to my platforms where they can see a business owner who prides herself on inclusion, positivity, and community development.
If we’re being honest, the first time I saw the cover and spread, I fangirled over myself a bit. Is that a thing? Because of blogging, I’ve weirdly adjusted to seeing my photos appear randomly on the internet or on brand accounts, but something about the print publication had me giddy. At the end of the day, I’m still a relatively young woman living in small town Kentucky, so any print feature still astonishes me. When I came home from the shoot that night – which we did not know at the time would become the cover story – my boyfriend said I looked like Mellie Grant, one of the female leads in the show Scandal. I could kind of see it – professional attire with a tad bit of sass, more makeup than I’m ever used to wearing, and hair curled flawlessly in a way I don’t usually style it. I really love Mellie Grant as a character, mostly because she’s obviously flawed and takes ownership of her mistakes. I definitely don’t believe participating in this spread was a mistake, but I do understand how my presence on the cover makes me visually complicit in perpetuating a poor and grossly inaccurate sample representation of female leadership in our city.
I spent four years earning a degree in Gender and Women’s Studies. I didn’t take the bunny pop culture elective, slap a feminist bumper sticker on my car, and call it a day. I did the work, the research, and had the hard conversations about identity and performance daily for years. My college education deeply shapes my blog platform now which is why I was pleasantly comforted in the fact that so many messages I received began or ended with “I’m sharing this here with you because I feel like you talk about these issues and your platform is a safe space.” To have reinforcement that what I set out to create has actually come to fruition was nothing short of amazing. Still, many messages were downright harsh and hard to swallow. I got defensive. Why? Because I’m victim to my own biases no matter how feminist I claim to be or how much of an ally I feel I am. I felt, in all of the communication, that my integrity was under scrutiny, but I know these conversations were initiated from a place of compassion and honesty – something I ask of my readers and expect of myself. I’m speaking of this experience from a personal perspective, but I understand that this battle isn’t mine to claim and this conversation is not just about me.
I am 100% confident that I will misspeak or make a blunder in the process of continued advocacy and allyship, but I am committed to being part of the conversation on equal representation and marginalized identity elevation in this community I call home. I have the lingo and copious academic knowledge to fuel my responses in these conversations thanks to my degree, but I still have implicit biases that need to be checked and the real world isn’t veiled in the safety of academia. Further, I do and will continue to leverage my platform and certain privileges on behalf of others whenever possible and appropriate. Every woman that stood beside me or worked behind these scenes to make this spread possible was deserving of the highlight. As the youngest of the bunch, I have a lot to learn from the women blogging in Lexington long before I launched my platforms.
Shelby, of Glitter and Gingham, is the OG Lexington blogger who grew a tremendous grassroots following for her fashion and lifestyle content. Leela, of Lex Eats, is a longtime friend who is an iPhone photography magician and makes my allergy-ridden body jealous every time she boldly tries new foods. Bronwyn, of Basically Bronwyn, is one of the most genuine people I have ever met who has literally opened her home to the community of bloggers in this town as we forge deeper and more meaningful relationships in light of an air of looming competition. Allison, who also styled my hair for this shoot in ways I didn’t know were possible for my thin locks, has built an admirable business around her passion for hair and makeup and has brought blogging back into her life to provide resources to her community via her site Pink Lou Lou. We also can’t forget those behind the scenes that made this shoot the polished sight it is and who often don’t get enough credit for their skill: Brittany – who put on my fake lashes with such ease as if she were signing her own name, and Kelsey (+ her other half, Matt) – the photographer who made this shoot painless and a blast for a girl who had been hanging over the toilet all day with food poisoning. I am proud of these women and I am proud of myself.
It’s important here for me to take a second to introduce you to just a few of the other prominent area bloggers who weren’t featured in this spread. This is by no means an extensive list of the talented digital makers in our area, but rather a collection of those with whom I have had the privilege of working and getting to know:
Rynetta Davis, of J Crew is My Fav Store, is one of the most poised and put together individuals I’ve ever seen. She’s consistent, transparent, and an all-around blast to follow online.
Priyanka Patel, of Glamour and Giggles, is a local beauty blogger who also chats about confidence and empowerment. Her swatch game is so strong!
Lindsay Latimer, of Bourbon & Lipstick, has a level of sass and intelligence that I only wish to attain. She talks about the fun stuff, but likewise keeps it real in this crazy world of digital comparison.
Mya Price, of More Than Your Average, is one of my best gal pals. She’s a boutique owner first, blogger second, but is offering up so much style advice through her site. Her voice and style are imprinted in everything she creates!
Chioma Brown, of C’s Evolution of Style, is a natural leader and a steadfast powerhouse who creates inspiring content rooted in bold fashion.
Rona Roberts, of Savoring Kentucky, is one of the most present and active foodies I have ever encountered. I run into Rona all over town as she is committed to local food systems and highlighting Kentucky’s best.
Porsha Thomas, of Eleventh and Pemberton, is a relative newcomer to the Lexington blogger scene who has created a beautiful platform showcasing all things food, home, and garden. Her willingness to connect and dive into the existing and thriving Lexington blogger network is refreshing.
These are just a few friends worth quickly highlighting in the Lexington area. If you open the conversation up to the whole Bluegrass state, you’re bound to find bloggers of all sorts narrating just about every facet of life. Kentucky is fraught with talent at every turn in the blogosphere and it’s on readers, brands, and creators to uplift and celebrate those actively pursuing this type of entrepreneurship and fostering internet communities.
Bottom line? A collection of white, thin, young women graced the cover of this month’s magazine. It’s a story as old as time, and one we’ll likely see again. In regard to the most glaring element of exclusion, it’s hard to talk about race – but it gets easier the more spaces we open up to positive and progressive dialogue about our shortcomings and where there is work towards inclusion to be done. Race, gender, age, and spatial occupancy are often assumed visible identities. Often, assumptions about others are false and based on misconceptions about an individual’s identity performance. Everyone lives with equally valuable unseen identities that inform their decisions and their businesses. That’s a crash course in the concept of intersectionality – a system that served as the foundation for much of my collegiate studies. Because our intersectional identities are particularly easy to misconstrue online, we have perhaps a greater responsibility to give due diligence to recognize those historically and presently marginalized. I want this conversation and those I shape henceforth to be rooted in the values of learning, love, and intention – especially in the context of media portrayal. The words and images our brands share matter and all of us have a role in social justice progress. Let’s act like it.
All photos shared with permission from The Malicotes.
